Encouragement as you wait for God to unveil your love story!
As a survivor of many single-status Valentine’s Days, I feel a responsibility to encourage my sisters in Christ entering the V-Day Dread. Your value in this world is FAR greater than a box of the finest chocolates, a Hallmark music-playing, pop-up card, and a dozen beautiful, long-stemmed roses combined. Yet, I know all too well that on February 14, lies about your worth will poke and prod your hearts. Rosy reminders will surround you with the idea that others’ stories are in motion and your story has stalled. Maybe you have a boyfriend who won’t meet your flowery expectations and sweet chocolate dreams.
Valentine’s Day. It’s a lot for a human heart to bear.
Reflection: What do you dread most about Valentine’s Day?
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Thankfully, God is BIGGER than V-Day. Those lovely glass vases are fragile. Those beautiful flowers will soon wilt, lose their color, and fall to their doom. God’s message of love to us, His Word, never dies. “The grass withers, and the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever” (Isaiah 40:8). We can take God at His Word when it says we are His Beloved, and He has loved us with an everlasting love (1 John 3:1-2, Isaiah 24:8).
As Far as the Heart Will Go
When I was 26, God used one observation to set my anxious heart at peace about V-Day. I hope it turns your V-Day around, too!
My love life at that time was like a Monopoly game where I was moving around the board smoothly. Then, I got stuck in the jail of singleness and could not pass GO. My friends’ love lives kept moving forward to the various avenues of life. They fell in love, married, and had babies while first dates and dating relationships left me in a perpetual state of starting over.
Sometimes my heart kept me from moving forward. Other times, I really liked the guy I was dating, but his heart couldn’t move forward.
There was Jake, a caring, attentive boyfriend, who suddenly turned distant with no explanation.
Curt was a godly guy I crushed on for a long time. Badly wounded from his last dating relationship, his heart still needed time to heal.
Ryan took me on dates, but he labeled our relationship “Just Friends” because he didn’t feel comfortable saying we were dating.
Then, there was Todd. We enjoyed a sweet dating relationship that grew out of friendship. We came to a place where we both realized it wasn’t God’s plan for us to marry. Though we made the decision to break up together, sadness accompanied the decision.
Rob and I dated about three months before he ended our relationship. He commented, “Maybe one day I’ll be able to give up my agenda so that I can give my all to a woman.”
These guys moved forward only as far as their hearts could take them.
Reflection:
- How has your heart kept you from moving forward in dating?
- How have guys you’ve dated had difficulty moving forward with you?
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Forward-Moving Hearts
When God brought my girl pals together with the men they would marry, every couple seemed to move forward with rare confidence. With each couple, the man genuinely respected, appreciated, and adored the woman. Each man possessed an internal motivation to build the relationship and boldly took steps toward marriage. I had seen many of these men in previous dating relationships, and they didn’t seem half as engaged as they did with my friends. They seemed like different men. My girl pals seemed happier and more at ease than they had in previous relationships.
Here’s my observation: When God brought each of these men together with the woman they would marry, it seemed like a deep, still part of their hearts was awakened. This awakening, or heart change, was the work of God because only God can change hearts. This heart change is miraculous.
Man and Woman Meet
The behavior of these men remind me of Adam when God brings Eve to him in the Garden. Awakening from deep sleep, Adam works hard to focus on the blurry image standing in front of him. When he realizes a compatible companion is within reach, he excitedly proclaims, “This at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23).
Adam’s words sound strange in the context of our modern world, but in the beginning of our world, his words were filled with certainty and passion! He wasn’t saying, “Well, she’s okay.” His words were more along the lines of, “Whoa! She’s INCREDIBLE! I’ll take her!!!” Adam knew God provided a suitable mate for him, and he wholeheartedly accepted, adored, and appreciated Woman, God’s gift to him!
Moving Forward with Peace on V-Day
There’s nothing in any of us that would inspire such love in a man, except God in him and God in us. God is the One who draws hearts together, creates and builds love between a man and woman, and spiritually sows them together as one.
On February 14, when you see red-rose deliveries and giddy recipients, remember:
Roses and chocolate don’t speak to your worth. You are God’s Beloved.
Your love story isn’t stalled. Your God is the Author of Love and the Architect of your love story, and He is moving in your life for His Glory. It’s just not your time to share love with a man…and that’s OK.
It takes time for love to grow. You don’t want love that reflects the fragility of a rose. You want love that reflects the miracle and faithfulness of God.
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
When your heart isn’t filled with anxious thoughts, it has space to feel happy for your friends who are smelling the roses. When a friend is experiencing God-inspired love, that’s a miracle worth celebrating.
Dear God,
I praise You, for You are the King of Hearts, Author of Love, and Miracle-Maker.
God, You are faithful to Your Word and Your people. I take hold of the guidance and promise of Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving {I will let my} requests be made known to {You}. And {Your} peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard {my} heart and {my} mind in Christ Jesus.”
I come to You with a heart that dreads Valentine’s Day. This is what I dread about it:
{Open your hands, with palms turned up to God.) Father, my heart belongs to You. Help me to live V-Day out like any other day, and find joy in it. By the power of Your Spirit, please set my heart at peace. Turn my concern into hopeful expectation. Turn my fear into faith.
Help me to remember:
Roses and chocolate don’t speak to my worth. I am Your Beloved daughter.
My love story isn’t stalled. My God is the Author of Love and the Architect of my love story. You are moving in my life for Your Glory. It’s just not my time to share love with a man. And that’s OK.
It takes time for love to grow. I don’t want love that reflects the fragility of a rose. I want love that reflects the miracle and faithfulness of You, God.
Thank You for loving me! I pray in Jesus’ Loving Name, Amen.
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*Verses are ESV unless noted.
