I just love the comment Margaret Mitchell made after writing her award-winning novel, Gone with the Wind: “In a weak moment, I have written a book!” Such a humorous statement to make after creating a book 1,037 pages long! Now, I can say the same! God used a weak moment in my life to deepen and sweeten my relationship with Him…and to create a book to invite others into a deeper, sweeter relationship with Jesus! I’m happy to announce that my first book, LOVE BY DESIGN: The Art of Dating, Loving Well, and Becoming a Godly Woman! releases January 14 on Amazon!
LOVE BY DESIGN is for young women who desire to honor God in dating, marriage, and everyday life! It can be used as…
- a devotional book for individuals
- a book with built-in study guide to go through with a mentor or friend
- a small group study or discipleship curriculum
LOVE BY DESIGN is designed for young women in their teens and twenties. If you are age 13-15, you’ll get the most out of the book by going through it with a parent, mentor, or small group.
LOVE BY DESIGN is available in paperback and on Kindle! Click here to buy your copy!
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This is the INTRODUCTION that appears in the book:
As I led a group of young women through Love by Design, one of them jokingly commented, “Wow, Aimee! We’re learning a LOT about you.” Then, she added, “Thanks for being so honest.”
I’m pretty much an open book in this context! I’ll share some things about my journey in dating and singleness that will make you laugh. I’ll share things that will stir up some sadness. I’ll share things that will make you think. I’ll share things that will encourage you to dream! I’ll share things that may surprise you. I’ll share things that will inspire you! I’ll share some embarrassing and unwise things I did because I want you to be better than me! Do I enjoy sharing my mistakes? Um, no, but the way I see it, sharing my mistakes may help you make better choices. I’ll share things God helped me get right. Some of my friends will share their redemptive stories, too! I’ll share a lot from the Bible, which will guide us and reveal God’s heart for us every step of the way!
It’s going to be an incredible journey—a journey with Jesus, me, my friends, and the friends in your small group who go through the book with you!
It only seems fitting to start this journey with a confession: I played with Barbie dolls until I was 13. I used to feel embarrassed about that because I gave up Barbies long after my friends did.
Barbies were my favorite toy growing up. My final count was nine Barbies, three Kens, one Skipper, and one whatever Skipper’s boyfriend was named. I created Barbie storylines that took hours to play out. There were swim parties at the Barbie pool, birthday parties at her mansion, fashion shows, and Barbie concerts. The biggest storyline was the triple wedding where three Barbie-Ken couples got married! I thought of every detail, from live music to a “Just Married” sign and dangling toy cans on the back of Barbie’s pink Corvette. Trust me, it was a fairytale wedding. I even took pictures of it.
I gave up playing with Barbies because my friends started playing with boys. My friends talked about boys. ALL THE TIME. They started wearing makeup, dressing in shorter skirts, and confessing crushes in notes passed back and forth between classes. Some had boyfriends and bragged about kissing them and sneaking out at night to meet them. This drastic change in my friends seemed to happen overnight.
If I didn’t start talking and acting like my friends, I feared I wouldn’t have any friends. I also figured it might be time to grow up, and giving up Barbie dolls seemed like a good first step toward adulthood!
I began playing the game and acting like I was crushing on guys like everyone else. Sure, I thought some guys were cute, but I would have been happier playing with Barbie dolls.
I started dating when I was 16 and quickly learned that it’s not as easy as it seems. All of the conversations with my friends and the few lessons about anatomy and sex in middle school health class didn’t help me one bit with the basic emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of guy-girl relationships. I entered dating with all of its adult-sized scenarios and put-your-heart-and-life-on-the-line decisions and stumbled my way through it. Event planning for Barbie dolls was WAY easier.
I basically went from playing Barbies to dating boys. Think about that.
Later when I worked on staff in Student Ministry at my church, I discipled and counseled many young women whose moms made great efforts to prepare them for dating. The moms planned mother-daughter weekends away and led their daughters through a curriculum. The majority of the young women walked away with a good understanding of God’s plan for marriage, but they didn’t know how to practically maneuver basic dating decisions and situations.
They desired to obey God and not have sex until marriage, but most couldn’t articulate why they believed in waiting until marriage and had little to no real conviction about their decisions. Many believed that as long as they dated a boy who was a Christian, they would always be treated well and wouldn’t have to guard their purity. When it comes to dating, that is dangerous thinking that will lead you to learn lessons the hard way.
If dating leads to marriage, which God designed to be a lifelong commitment, have you ever wondered why we don’t spend more time preparing for dating?
Think about the things in life we prepare for:
- We prepare for the first day of school or work.
- We study for tests.
- We practice for dance performances.
- We practice for musical performances.
- We practice for sports games.
- We practice for plays.
- We practice driving before we get our driver’s license.
- We prepare for college and careers.
- We practice for graduation ceremonies.
- We schedule premarital counseling to prepare for marriage.
- We even practice walking down the aisle for the wedding.
That’s just off the top of my head.
Do you want to know more about love, dating, and marriage, but you don’t know what questions to ask?
Are there questions you have about love, dating, and marriage, but you wish someone else would start the conversation?
Do you desire to understand how to apply God’s Word in dating decisions and situations?
Have you made mistakes in dating relationships and long to find forgiveness and move forward?
Do you desire to grow as a godly woman and enjoy the benefits of singleness?
This journey will help you discover answers to your questions and to the questions you didn’t know you needed to ask. If you have little or no experience in dating, you can get just as much out of the book as someone who has dated a lot. True stories shared throughout the book create the scenarios for discussion. God’s Word creates our path.
Along the way, you’ll discover the intentionality of how God designed man, woman, love, marriage, sex, and the Bible. You’ll discover how He wove you together with Powerful PURPOSE, Beautiful DESIGN, and World-Changing POTENTIAL. You’ll also learn about grace, fellowship with Jesus, leadership, good communication in relationships, guarding your heart and mind, boundaries, and making wise decisions.
By the end of the journey, you will have a thoughtful plan for how to approach dating, or how to reset your dating life, to glorify God more. No matter how “good” or how “bad” your story may seem, Jesus can bless your story. He said, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Your story can unfold into abundant life!
I lived out many storylines in dating, many of which I would have never written for myself. My mentor, Carolyn, and my good friend, Cheryl, stuck with me through the dramas and traumas of dating in my 20s. They seriously deserve medals. I remember one particular lunch with them when Carolyn made a surprising suggestion, “You should write a book. You’ve been through so much in dating, and you have unique insights that could help others.”
Lunch with Carolyn and Cheryl was the first time the idea of writing a book came up, and God eventually grew the idea into a heart desire. In the early days of writing the book, I sensed God whispering, This book is for your healing. As I wrote the book, I would often cry. You see, my story has some sad chapters. Allowing the stories to pour out of my heart and onto the Word document caused pain and sadness within me to surface.
After a few years of writing, I pushed the book aside for almost a decade! During that time, God brought healing to my heart’s hurts and took my relationship with Jesus to a whole new level. He began using what I had been through to help other women, and I experienced His redemption in a new light. He taught me that our experiences don’t define who we are, but they serve a redemptive purpose—to teach us how to glorify God and help others know Him.
I tried to forget the book, but God wouldn’t allow me to let it go. When I returned to the book, I rewrote almost all of it. I shared with new boldness. I shared the things I wish someone had shared with me. I would often cry at the end of writing sessions. This time as I recalled the painful things I’ve been through, I remembered how God helped me through it all. His love conquers ALL. I know with all my heart it does.
God has met me in these pages over and over again. Literally. I don’t believe God led you to this book by chance. Everything God does is by design. Seek Him with all of your heart, mind, and soul, and I have no doubt that you’ll find Him! This journey is really your journey with God. It’s a journey filled with grace. A journey of redemption. True love. New beginnings. Hope. Freedom. Peace. Joy. A journey I can’t wait for you to experience!
I hope you’ll stay in touch! I’d love to know where your travels with God take you!
Much love! Keep aiming for Him!
Aimee
