While many married men make unflattering jokes about their wives to gain some laughs, I’ve never heard Jim speak unfavorably of his wife, Pam. Even better, when he speaks of her, his eyes light up. His smile widens. In only a few sentences, Jim communicates respect, deep love, and genuine appreciation for Pam. She is the same way with him.
Those two are a sweet couple.
I got to know them when Jim and I worked together. At the time, I was single and waiting for God’s best. I had experienced some good dating relationships, and I had experienced some that were emotionally-charged, all-consuming, and soul-draining. The combination of difficult dating experiences, negative marriage jokes, and the repeated comment, “Marriage is HARD work” were disconcerting!
Perhaps you’re like me and have wondered: Why do sweet marriages seem rare? Why do couples who desire to become “one” end up fighting against one another?
In a conversation with Pam, I shared how her marriage inspired me. Bashful in accepting my compliment she shared, “God has been good to us. Jim is such a loving husband. I struggle with putting my trust in Jim when I should be trusting in the Lord. It’s easy to place my trust in Jim because I can see him and talk to him and hug him.”
{Pause.} Pam added, “Jim helps me keep the right perspective. He always tells me, ‘We’re just here to help each other make it to the end.’”
Awww…anyone else’s heart melting? Such an endearing declaration!
Envisioning the End
What is the “end” Jim and Pam envision? Their “end” is the same end that lies ahead for all of us who believe in Christ’s work on the cross: “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23).
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2/NASB).
We all must learn to leave the heavy burdens of this sin-tainted world at the cross of Christ. We must learn to cast our our sins on the cross where Christ finished them off and extended forever forgiveness. We must run to Jesus, where we find forgiveness and strength to run the path He paved for us to our Father in Heaven and to Jesus Himself. The end holds endless joy for us for in the end, we will find our Faith-Author, Faith-Perfector, Honor-Awarding Joy-Presenter!
Helping Each Other
The motto, “We’re just here to help each other to the end,” reminds Jim and Pam that they need to help each other through the trials and hardships of this sin-tainted world. They have a shared goal, and they choose to pursue that goal together, envisioning the Victorious One together, pressing through life’s challenges together, and running the race together.
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” –Ecclesiastes 4:9-10/NASB
Higher Vision
My friends’ helpful motto reminds them that their lives and marriage are part of a BIGGER story. They serve a greater purpose than the empty pursuit of satisfying self. They serve a Glorious God with a HIGHER Vision.
God built purpose into all of our lives. “The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.”1 This is from the Westminster Confession of Faith, which cites 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Psalm 76:24-26 says, “You guide me with your counsel and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Glorifying God includes helping others know Him. Marriage, which doesn’t exist in Heaven, was designed by God with the vision to reflect Christ’s love for His Church to the world. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the Church” (Ephesians 5:31-32/NIV).
A Helpful Motto for Your Marriage (present or future)
“We’re just here to help each other make it to the end.” In other words:
I’m not here to change you.
I’m not here to control you.
We’re partners on this path, helping each other run hard after Jesus to the glory of God.
I’m here to run with you to the loving arms of Jesus, the presence of our Heavenly Father, and a never-ending happily ever after.
We’ll point others to Jesus, and we’ll love, honor, and cherish each other all along the way!
A Helpful Motto for Your Dating Relationships
If you are in a dating relationship or plan to date in the future, my friends’ motto can set your mind and heart on honoring God and helping fellow man. Think about it:
WE’RE ALL here…
TO HELP EACH OTHER…
make it TO THE END.
If you go on a date with a man only once, God can use your encouraging words spoken, respectful treatment of him, and kindness shown to help him make it to the end in some small way.
Each man you date is a wonderfully-made-in-God’s-image-creation with God-given abilities, talents, and spiritual gifts designed to glorify God and make Him known. In Christ, each man has powerful purpose and profound potential! He’s a co-heir with Christ and your brother in Christ. He is also an imperfect human who simply needs more Jesus.
In Christ, YOU have the powerful purpose and profound potential to reflect Christ to the men you date!
“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim…” -1 Corinthians 9:24 -26a
Heavenly Father,
You are a Visionary, Purpose-Giver, Way-Maker, and a Happily-Ever-After-Granter!
Thank You for sending Jesus to die for my sins and paving a path for me to enjoy relationship with You now and forever. Thank You for building purpose into my life. Show me how to run the race to Your glorious side! Empower me to glorify You all of my days.
I confess it’s a struggle for me to keep a God-focused perspective in relationships. My perspective is often self-focused. Please forgive me. Train me “to seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at {Your} right hand. Set {my} mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:1-2).
Father, through Christ and the Holy Spirit, You help me make it to the end. Through Christ and the Holy Spirit, empower me to help others make it to the end.
For those who are not married: “Let {me} also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles {me|, and let {me} run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing {my} eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2). Be glorified in my heart, in my life, and in my relationships! In Jesus’ Empowering Name, Amen.
For those who are married: “Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2). Be glorified in our hearts, in our lives, and in and through our marriage! In Jesus’ Empowering Name, Amen.
Application Questions: (1) DREAM: What will it be like to run the race to the end, into the loving arms of Jesus, and enter the presence of your Heavenly Father? (2) What do you hope God will accomplish in and through your life as you run to Jesus?
To learn more about Jim and Pam’s story and their helpful motto, tap The Story behind The Story blog.
*Verses are ESV unless noted.
1Westminster Assembly (1643-1652). (1816). The Assembly’s shorter catechism, with the scripture proofs in reference: with an appendix on the systematick attention of the young to scriptural Knowledge, by Hervey Wilbur. Newburyport {Mass?}: Wm. B. Allen & Co.
