Three months into the Coronavirus Pandemic, my church live-streamed a soulfully-sweet event entitled, Night of Worship. On this night, the vulnerable storytelling of several church members led all who gathered virtually to reflect on the waves of loss that had flowed into our lives. With old hymns updated with modern flair, we sang Jesus’ praises and anchored our hearts in Him.
My friend, Bella, shared her story of pandemic loss. A high school senior, Bella’s milestone year ended non-climatically.
Initially, Bella viewed her losses in light of others’ losses. In comparison, her losses seemed “easier” to endure and not significant enough to grieve. Bella dismissed her heart’s hurt, yet her disappointment and sadness heightened.
Bella’s breakthrough came after her mom encouraged her that it’s okay to feel disappointed and sad about her loss, and it’s healthy to grieve it. Bella followed her mom’s counsel, “Lean on Jesus,” and experienced the good that comes out of grieving losses with Jesus. She shared her story at Night of Worship in hopes of encouraging others to lean on the One who suffered the ultimate loss for us.
Reflection
In our attempt to wrap our minds around what we’ve lost, we often size up our losses. You’ve probably either described loss, or heard others describe it, this way:
- “This is a tremendous loss.”
- “It’s a profound loss.”
- “It’s a substantial loss.”
- “This is a big loss.”
- “This is a small loss.”
- What loss (or losses) have you suffered recently?
- Would you describe any of your losses as “small”? And why?
- What makes a loss significant enough to grieve?
Here is a definition I wrote for this blog to help us understand what it means to grieve with Jesus:
It’s good to grieve your losses with Jesus. Here are 7 reasons why it’s good to grieve your losses (even the small ones):
1—Every loss we suffer has significance.
Every loss we suffer is a part of ALL humankind lost in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve indulged in the fruit, fullness of life—found only in close relationship with God—was lost. Adam and Eve stepped out of a delightful Garden and into the darkened world where they felt sin’s sting through varying degrees of trials and loss.
As the first Man—God’s chosen representative of humankind, Adam’s fall carried consequences for every man and woman: sin-prone hearts, sin-tainted actions, wounded relationships, and a broken world. Apostle Paul described this in Romans 5, and in verse 12 said: “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned…”
Jesus walked in our world and turned our gloom and doom story into a story of redemption! He became “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” and “one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Isaiah 53:3, Hebrews 4:15). His death on the cross redeemed us and our relationship with God. “For as by the one man’s obedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous” (Romans 5:19).
Jesus gave us a heavenly future, and one day, He will make ALL things right. God’s Kingdom will come, and our Garden losses will be redeemed. Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10b/NIV).
Here’s another way we see God’s redemptive work in our lives: Jesus turned our dead-end stories into hope-filled messages of eternal life. “And {Jesus} said to {His disciples}, ‘Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation’” (Mark 16:15).
Being Jesus’ disciple means following Him no matter what the cost. It means encountering trouble in this world, experiencing loss, and persevering through it with God-glorifying purpose. Being Jesus’ disciple also means grieving with hope. Jesus told His disciples, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
Every loss we suffer is a part of God’s Redemptive Story and holds eternal significance.
2—Grieving helps us grasp the Gospel in a greater way.
When we grieve a loss, we essentially grieve what was lost in the Garden and embrace what was gained through Christ’s death and resurrection. Grieving opens our minds to better comprehend the gravity of sin in the world. Grieving opens our eyes to behold with greater clarity God’s Holiness and our depravity. Grieving opens our hearts to feel a tiny portion of the pain Jesus’ bore for us. Grieving also draws our hearts to rest in the magnitude of love Jesus poured out for us on the cross…and lavishes on us daily and forevermore!
In your grief, lean on Jesus. Grieving will help you grasp the Gospel in a greater way. Though the “smaller” losses bring less hurt and need to grieve, allow those losses to refocus your eyes, move your mind, and set your heart on the Gospel.
3—God cares about our losses.
Psalm 139 describes God as attentive to every child of His. God knows when you sit and when you rise. He knows the winding paths and rocky roads you’ve traveled. He knows the turbulent seas you’ve sailed and the steep mountains you’ve climbed. God knows ALL of the losses you’ve suffered in this world. God cares about how sin holds you back from experiencing full life and sent His Beloved Son…
…to experience the trails and loss you would face in this world.
…to understand your heart’s hurts firsthand.
…to suffer your sins and give up His life for you.
…to awake from death and create a grace-paved walkway to God’s throne.
…and to turn your grief to joy and your loss to eternal gain!1
These are Jesus’ words: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4/NIV).
In every step of His suffering, in every misery of the cross, Jesus deemed you worthy to be comforted and your losses worthy to grieve. In your grief, lean on Jesus because He cares for you.
4—Grieving helps us relate to Jesus more intimately.
Jesus led humankind to another Garden. His invitation to Peter, James, and John to go deep into the Garden of Gethsemane was an invitation for them to draw near to Him as He grieved. This garden experience is shared in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, where God invites us to follow Jesus into His grief. It’s a unique opportunity to see the sorrow in Jesus’ eyes, hear Him express His heart’s hurts, and know Him more intimately.
“He took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. And he said to them, ‘My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch.’ And he went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass him by. And he was saying, ‘Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from me; yet not what I will, but what you will.’” –Mark 14:33
“And being in agony he was praying very fervently; and his sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground.” –Luke 22:44
In the Garden of Gethsemane, you will encounter the depth of grief your Savior suffered. Jesus suffered your pain and losses in the most intimate way: He made your sufferings His own. When you grieve with Jesus, you’ll find a God intimately acquainted with your suffering. A Savior who greets you with grace, hears your prayers, sympathizes with your human weaknesses, carries your prayers to our Heavenly Father, and heals your hurting heart.3
In your grief, lean on Jesus. Your heart is safe with Him.
5—Grieving trains us to live reliant on Jesus.
Being a disciple means following Christ’s lead, walking His way, and living out the Father’s will. This doesn’t come easy to us because our sin-tainted hearts desire to carry out our individual wills. Through the process of grieving, Jesus teaches us how to work through this conflict. Jesus helps us emerge from a garden of grief, emptied of self, surrendered to God, well-loved, renewed by God’s Word and His Spirit, and desiring a higher purpose: “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).
When you suffer loss, you have some choices:
- Dismiss your feelings
- Acknowledge your feelings, and make sense of them on your own
- Acknowledge your feelings, and in your grief, lean on Jesus
Dismissing our feelings or trying to make sense of them with our limited human understanding reveals an underlying belief that we are self-sufficient and don’t need Jesus. One of the big learnings from the Garden of Eden is that when we choose our own way over God’s way, we lose everything that truly matters in this life. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
In your grief, lean on Jesus. Every grieving moment lived leaning on Him, reliant on Him, is a moment lived to the glory of God.
6—Grieving is good for our hearts.
God designed our hearts to be filled with life and overflowing with life. Proverbs 4:23 instructs, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
Vigilance is the state of being vigilant, which Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines as “alertly watchful especially to avoid danger.”2 Vigilantly caring for our hearts is important because our hearts’ leaning toward sin and self-sufficiency pose a threat to our original life-filled, life-giving design. If we’re not living in reliance on Jesus, then our hearts are at risk of becoming empty and stagnant. If we’re not leaning on Jesus, then our sin-tainted hearts will led us to sinful actions. We need to “keep” our hearts, to carefully watch over them, to be mindful of which way our hearts are leaning—to Jesus or to self.
When you experience a loss, pay attention to how you feel about the loss. God created you with emotions partly to signal when your heart is in danger. Emotions like anger, disappointment, sadness, fear, and anxiousness that you experience in response to a loss indicate a need to grieve. If you don’t grieve, then you risk a heart stalled by resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness. You risk a heart void of life.
In your grief, lean on Jesus. He’s your Life-giver; grieving with Him is good for your heart.
7—Grieving prepares us for our role in God’s Redemptive Story.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, the prayerful process of grieving aligned Jesus’ heart, mind, and soul with His Father’s will. Jesus exited the Garden, prepared and strengthened to fulfill God’s Redemptive Plan.
Because Jesus was comforted and strengthened by God and empowered to carry out God’s will, our dead-end stories changed into hope-filled messages of eternal life. Because Jesus suffered, and in His grief, leaned on His Father, you have a true friend who is always sympathetic to your suffering. You have a God who comforts your heart, renews your heart to beat in rhythm with His, and equips and empowers you to comfort others with His love and Good News. Apostle Paul described God as “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4/NIV).
To grieve with Jesus, to experience the Spirit’s healing touch in your heart, and to watch your past pain transformed into love for others is to find your place in God’s Redemptive Story.
Heavenly Father,
I praise You, for You are Life-Giver, Redeemer, and Healer.
Thank You for caring for me and caring about the pain and loss I experience in this world. Thank You that the losses I suffer in life are not meaningless. Every loss I suffer has a place in Your Redemptive Story and holds eternal significance.
Jesus, I come to You with a hurting heart. In my grief, I lean on You. I’m so grateful You walked before me in this world, became “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,” and made my sufferings Your own. You turned my sin and sorrow into salvation and joy. You turned my losses into eternal gain. Continue Your redemptive work in my life; teach me how to grieve well—to grieve to the Glory of God.
I claim your comforting promise, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4/NIV). I look forward to Your healing touch bringing my heart to life again.
Sweet Savior, Thank You that You are a safe place for my heart. As I grieve this loss with You, I desire to know Your heart. By the power of the Spirit, enlighten me to how You suffered this loss. Deepen our relationship, and teach me how to live reliant on You. Empower me to grasp the Gospel in a greater way. One day, when my grief has turned to joy, use me and my story to comfort others with Your love and hope as You have comforted me. In Jesus’ Redeeming Name, Amen.
.
- Verse are ESV, unless noted.
- 1 See Isaiah 53, Hebrews 4:12, and John 16:20.
- 2“vigilant.” Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, 2020. Web. 8 August 2020
- 3See Hebrews 4:15-16.
Other blogs that address how to related to God in this season of the Coronavirus Pandemic:
- Finding Peace of Mind and Heart During the Coronavirus Pandemic
- Finding Peace, Purpose, and a Plan in Trials (like the Coronavirus Pandemic)
- There is Fellowship In Your Suffering
- Pandemic Ponderings: A Journal of Faith, Fears, and Fellowship
